Our kids don’t do what we say as parents, they do what we do. If you are a parent of kids over the age of 7, you know exactly what I mean. Just recently I was at home with my family and my wife and I hear my 9 year-old yelling at her 7 year-old sister, “Savannah Rose Jamail if you don’t pick up your stuff, then I am going to throw it away.” The next day, my 17 year-old is helping the two littles get their showers done and I hear this, “Girls that is it.. you better get in that shower and quit messing around before I ….” I looked at my wife after both situations and I asked, “who do they sound like?” I think her answer was different than mine. This should make no sense because we are always telling our three daughters they should love each other, be each others best friends and not fight. We tell the older sister to help her younger sisters and to speak nicely. Yet none of them did what we said, rather they did like we do. By the way I am pretty sure it is Mrs. Jamail that says “Savannah Rose Jamail”.
This lesson is just as real in the business world. As leaders our people don’t do what we say, they do what we do. Think about this for a minute. Most leaders, myself included, want our people to believe in us more than we believe in our bosses, seek our guidance more than we seek ours boss’s guidance. This little unknown issue causes leaders to create their own worst enemy. This lesson many of us continue to learn in our personal lives as parents is true for us as leaders, “Our people will see us, treat us and believe in us the same we do in our own leaders”. Our people don’t do what we say, they do what we do. This is why in organization’s today the goal of complete alignment from top to bottom is so difficult to achieve and in most cases “not achieved at all”.
Don’t believe me? Let’s test it out:
- As a leader do you see your boss’s boss as a stronger leader than your own?
- As a leader do you feel you must filter information from your leadership to your team (soften it, or manipulate the info a bit)?
- As a leader do you feel your job is to protect your people?
If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you need to hear about a leader named Bob.
A LEADER NAMES BOB:
There was a leader named Bob. Bob was a nice guy- a good guy- that cared about his people and liked the company where he has worked for over 20 years. Here is the issue: Bob always felt he had to protect his people from his boss. He did not ask her (his boss’) opinion on decisions he was making because he felt he was the leader and should know the answer, or maybe he knew his boss would disagree and he did not want to hear no, or that he was wrong. Bob, like many leaders, wanted his people to believe in him. He wanted his people to trust him and seek his direction and advice, but what Bob did not know is they did not trust him, they did not seek his insight because he did not do the same for his boss. Why? Bob taught them through his actions, “that you should be smarter than your boss- like me”. “You should never seek your boss’s opinion because they might not agree- and we know more than our boss”. “Your boss should trust you to do your job and if something goes wrong our job is to protect our mistake or those that report to us”. This is what Bob does to his boss, and this is how Bob’s people do and feel about him. By the way, Bob will never say these things out loud, and when Bob was asked his opinion, he said the exact opposite because that is what he felt was required of him. Bottom line though: Bob’s people did not believe in Bob because Bob did not believe in his boss. Bob was the reason for the break in the company alignment. The scary part is, until Bob’s leader showed him this reality, he never knew it. Bob learned that “Serving UP” is not about sucking up, rather it is about believing and trusting in those you follow and call your boss and organization. When Bob started believing and serving up he became a better leader, a more effective leader and started showing his team how to be a great and humble leader as well.
LESSON’S FROM BOB:
Alignment in any organization can be tough because in most organizations people are promoted to a leadership position based on their individual contribution and once they are are titled as leaders- they never are really trained or taught. As a leader we must remember to serve our boss, by believing in them and assuming their visibility of the future is more accurate than our own perspective. Lastly serving up is about believing and treating your leader as you want your team to believe and treat you. A humble leader is a servant leader.
