“Are the Leaders you lead, making you better or slowing you down?”
-Nathan Jamail, Keynote Speaker, Bestselling Author
Several times a week, during my executive coaching sessions, I find myself discussing with a leader of leaders, how the leaders they pay to lead their team is causing them pain or slowing them down. These issues are not coming just from struggling leaders. As a matter of fact, the leaders I am coaching are stud leaders, running very successful large businesses, and yet they are having similar issues that many leaders of leaders have in every industry.
It is like raising kids; leading teams will always have new issues and struggles, but this one is not one we should tolerate. Ever.
Ask yourself this one question; Do you have a leader, or leaders, that are constantly creating obstacles in your path, or creating chaos and friction among teams (or other leaders) and at the end of the day you know that this person causes you more pain than value (more often than not)?
Here is the point- great leaders should make their own leader’s life, and the team as a whole, better.
Knowing this, what do we do? It is as simple as 1,2,3- but maybe as hard as breaking up with your high school sweetheart (well if you had one, I don’t think I ever had a high school sweetheart, except for maybe my own self).
1. Tell them 2. Show them 3. Move them
Scenario:
There is a leader named Don. Don is a stud leader of leaders. He is assertive, committed, decisive and most important- he is a compassionate coach that demands everyone’s best. Well, at least most of the time. Don has a leader on his team named Bob, and Bob’s job is to help Don lead this team, be his assistance coach if you will. But Bob, although committed in his own way, is always creating havoc and pain for Don. Because Bob thinks his opinion is more accurate than Don’s direction, he is always debating with Don on every decision and causing tension on the whole team.
Bob is not a bad person, but he is delivering bad results. He makes Don’s life more difficult, causing delays and frustration in their overall execution. Lastly, and probably the most crucial: because Bob is so difficult, Don absorbs a lot of Bob’s energy (as do other team members) which creates overall tension, frustration, fatigue and lost revenue.
Do you have a Bob on your team?
Maybe your Bob is not so much an obstacle creator, but more a leader that is not helping or pushing the team the way you want them to.
As leaders we most likely have a Bob, of some sort, on our team and not only is he or she not making us better, many times they make the overall team worse- and sadly, we have not told them so they don’t even truly realize it.
That changes today with 1,2,3.
1-Tell them
Call a meeting with your Bob, and be clear in your intent and message. Give examples, and let them know that what they are doing is causing them to struggle as a leader on your team. Share your intent; which is not to hurt them or get rid of them, but your intent is to make them the best leader for you and your team. Un-addressed conflict creates resentment, tension and lost respect all the way around. The worst part is, the other person does not even know you resent them because they never knew the pain they caused. And many times you don’t realize you have lost respect from other team members, as they witness the lack of accountability when conflict isn’t addressed. Address it. Tell them, and review expectations clearly and concisely.
2- Show them
Show them what you expect; don’t be afraid to use other leaders that make you better as an example. Once again, like raising kids, we don’t want to compare our kids and make one feel like the other one is our favorite. We want to show the contrast of actions, convictions and execution. Show the leader by your own efforts, and most importantly show them by giving them clear and precise expectations of how you expect them to lead. This is not a time to be vague or passive aggressive, this is a time to be direct, compassionate and clear.
3- Move them (UP or Out)
One of the issues you have with your Bob is that they don’t take action fast enough. This is the same for you…when you don’t address issues with Bob. We must move people up or out. This is not meant to be a mean or threatening leadership style or program. This is about believing that most leaders are not bad leaders, but they can be a “bad fit” for a role, position or company. So the intent here is to get this leader from the pain stage to the “Make me better stage”, and if that can’t be done. the goal will then be to get them to a different team or company where they are aligned with a leader that they can make better.
No one want’s to be the leader that causes pain, unless they are just mean spirited (but most likely just not self-aware), so lets assume that all leaders are good and we need to help them find the spot on the right team for them; even if that team has a different logo.
The real beauty in Up or Out is not those that go out, it’s those that go UP. Because not only are they achieving new and more success, they now have experience they can use to help other leaders in the future.
Final Thought
Our job as a leader, who works with our own leader, is to make our boss’s life’s easier or better. And truly, if we don’t- then why should they continue to pay us? When I go to a restaurant I expect the food and service to be great and therefore what I pay reflects that. So to think, as a professional leader, that our job is NOT to make our boss’s life and team better- by believing in them and serving them, being the one they can count on- is like a rude server that does not offer great customer service yet expecting good tips. In life we get what we earn, and if our job is to be the leader that makes our bosses better, then to do that we must have leaders on our team that make our lives and teams better- because with out one you can’t have the other. So now is the time to do the 1,2,3 on any Bob’s on our team, while also making sure that WE are not the Bob on our bosses team.
