Recently, I met with a client about some less than stellar leadership styles they’ve started to notice within their company. There had been some issues in the past with their leadership’s more, let’s say, overly emotional tendencies. This included short tempers, loud and public admonishments and the general bad behaviors that make the movie Horrible Bosses, still funny and relevant, even today. In truth, experiencing this behavior in the real world is nothing to chuckle about. So today, let’s talk how to not be an overly emotional leader.
An Emotional Rollercoaster Makes for a Bad Leader
“As leaders we need emotion without being emotional. Great leaders never lose their cool.”
As I wrote in my most recent book, Serve Up Coach Down, good leaders in the middle serve those they follow. In this dual-natured position, you must also mindfully coach down to your team by setting the example of what a good leader and reporting employee should be, too. The tone of the organization flows from the top. As a leader the onus is on you to create the kind of environment where your team can flourish. Therefore, mastering emotional mindfulness is a key skill for any good boss. A turbulent atmosphere will swallow everyone, so allowing emotions to affect your decisions is a non-starter.
Emotional Leadership Doesn’t Work
An emotional leader is a morale killer. You know that saying, ‘You get back what you put out?’, it’s true. Unloading on your employees will not only break their spirit but will also tank the company’s productivity. I’ve seen quite a few bosses gets mad and yell at their employees for making mistakes- and let me tell you, like everyone else in the room, I experience third-party embarrassment, for the boss. When a leader loses their emotional faculties, they appear weak or out of control. In most cases, they find themselves having to go back later to apologize for their behavior. However, you know what’s even worse? When they can’t recognize it or refuse to apologize at all. At that point, you’re not just a terrible boss, you’re a terrible human, too.
As a leader there is no excusing bad behavior. You are, by definition, the primary person that sets precedents and influences others within your organization and wider community. Excuses like, ‘demand now, apologize later’, or ‘It’s because I care more than others’, are cop-outs. It’s verbal garbage and detracts from how well your employees trust you and remain loyal to the business. We have to lead by example. It’s solely on us to make the conscious effort to be in control of ourselves and the situation.
An Emotionless Robot Makes for a Bad Leader
“Emotion is what makes us human, but the ability to control our emotions is what makes us great.”
Not all emotions are bad, no sane person actively seeks out leadership from a robot. In fact, in every single doomsday movie I’ve ever watched where robots take over the world, everyone seems pretty darn miserable. Who would want to deal with that, AI, human or anything else in between? Not one soul.
It’s about finding that sweet spot where you can show your emotions without being emotional. Great leaders care. You care about the business; you care about your success; and you care about your people. Emotions like passion, love and conviction drives the innate need for success within us.
The only way to solve any issue, that will inevitably cross our paths, is to have a clear and calm mind. Being a problem-solver is part of the gig, in fact, your role makes you the head honcho fixer! You can’t afford to get overly emotional; there will always be another obstacle or problem. How well you respond to problems will determine your success.
Final Thoughts on Emotional Leaders
It’s on you to be the leader that your bosses, your employees, and your peers can emulate and turn to for guidance. A good leader is the voice of reason in good times and bad times; relying on our emotions get us past the goal. Equilibrium comes when we manage our emotions without being emotional.
I mentioned my book, Serve Up, Coach Down, have you checked it out? It’s now available on Audible and Amazon Kindle. See ya next week!
This article is a great reminder to us as leaders to keep our emotions in check when confronted with difficult situations. It would be more helpful if it provided more examples of what defines a “emotional boss,” as well as examples of how not to be one.
Thanks for sharing and for that feedback, I will work on that for a future article. Keep living the dream!