“Confidence holds the true power for our kids.. and for us”
Let me start off by saying, I don’t usually give parenting advice. Why? I don’t think I’m the role model father. Yes, I’m a proud father of four, Anthony 27, Nyla 20, Paige 12, and Savannah 10. But my wife, Shannon, and I have always maintained simple parenting goals- mess the next one up a little less than the previous one. Occasionally though, there are teachable moments worth sharing with others that are relative to everyday living and even business that stems up from our parenting moments. In today’s post, allow me to get personal with you about leading with confidence.
The Dicey Moments of Confidence for a Preteen
It all started after my 12-year-old daughter, Paige, was doing that thing that all tweens do, acting like they’ve already got the world all figured out already (ha!). We were sitting on the back porch, talking about her friends and their opinion on her clothes, hairstyle, and all the general surface level concerns of a preteen. Now let me tell you something, as a former senior executive and current leader of leaders, I’ve swam with ALL kinds of sharks, but there is nothing, and I mean nothing, meaner than a middle school girl.
Like many other kids her age, Paige wants to be popular, fit in well with her peers and be well liked by all. Now while her mother and I pull our hairs out about that popular goal, we still need to be supportive parents. So, I offered to weigh in on the matter because I want her to be confident. If you’ve got a child in your life, I guess you know what happened next, she thoroughly rebuffed me. Which of course was a great opportunity for me to remind her that organizations paid me lots of money for my advice. Which she promptly told me,
“Dad, I would give you $5.00 not to give it to me!”
Undeterred, I said,
“Baby, as soon as you stop caring about what others think of you, they will start caring about what you think of them.”
I know, I know, groundbreaking stuff, right? I’ve got to say, as adults we know it’s true now, whether or not we currently practice it in our own life, but I wish I knew this when I was younger.
Confidence and Life
Of course, this got me thinking, why do we try so hard to impress others, especially those we don’t even know? Children do it, teens do it, and as an adult, I do it. Shoot, I’m sure at some point you’ve been guilty about overly worrying about the opinion of others, too. Despite this natural inclination, it doesn’t make it right thing to focus on.
If it’s one thing I know, the more you believe in yourself, love yourself and allow yourself to fail and make mistakes- without caring what others think- the more successful and happier you will be in life.
There is nothing more powerful than a confident person. My wife and I frequently encourage this outlook to Paige and our other amazing kids and now grandkids. Whether they’ve flown the nest and become parents of their own, like our oldest, I repeat the same confidence speech over and over to them. I know if I say it 1000 times, it will eventually stick and that is all that matters.
Dear reader and current leader in the middle, I want the same for you. Stop caring about how you look to others. Whether you’re failing up or coasting on a current win, just confidently be yourself and push forward.
My Final Thoughts on Leading with Confidence
Ok, one final fatherly reminder. You must love who you are so others can love you, too. You’ve got to be bold and take those chances- flaws and all. One of the hardest challenges in life is striking a healthy balance between how we view ourselves versus receiving worthy feedback from others. It all starts with being confident, realistic, and grounded. Apply this and you’ll easily filter through the opinions of those who mean us harm versus those who want to foster us to our best selves. Until next week.
I’m so confident, I wrote a book on it! I kid, I didn’t but I did write a couple books that can help you become a better leader. Surely that’ll make you more confident, so in a way, it kinda counts, 🤷. Check out my stuff in print or on Amazon Kindle and Audible and get your leadership confidence game up!
